Say Goodbye to the Web!

After years of user complaints regarding "too much information" and "annoying advertisements," the System-X Engineering team is proud to announce Update v9.0: The Void Protocol.

What's New?

In this version, we have successfully optimized the kernel to permanently delete the Internet. Not just your connection—the entire thing.

• Zero Latency: Since there is no data to send, pings are now 0ms.
• Infinite Battery Life: Your device no longer wastes energy looking for signals that don't exist.
• True Privacy: Hackers can't steal your data if your data has been converted into a series of interpretive dances by our new "Bio-Storage" algorithm.

How to Install

1. Open your terminal.
2. Type sudo delete --everything --really-though.
3. Watch as your browser turns into a very high-resolution mirror.

"I used to spend hours on social media. Now, thanks to System-X, I spend hours staring at the wall. My productivity has increased by -400%!" — A Satisfied, Non-Existent User

Note: If you find yourself reading this post, the update has failed. Please throw your router into the nearest body of salt water to complete the installation manually.